Thoughts 2024-02-05:

This is a test for the template to record my schizotypal thoughts.

No temporal orders, it flows. Some calls it as manifold, space with or without boundary.
Repeat it, moment by moment, generation by generation.

Why I could not fall asleep last night? There is something suppressed and embodied in my physical body, like a spell, triggered by some echoic input. Traumatic things, at the edge of reality and symbols. Am I tracing it, tracing for a position, relationship where I could never reach?

I am still angry, but I could not figure out what for. Anger is commonly thought to be a kind of reaction against the undesired situations. But, what is undesired? Sometimes, anger with regression just emerges in a very peaceful situation. It might be relevant to experiences, and when one's edge of consciousness fatigues, anger show itself up.

It is still hard to say, why some kind of scenario, or scripts trigger unstoppable emotion repeatedly. And I could even classify them into specific journals. It always comes from heart, comes from Es.

Commit, commit, commit. I might not justify longer.

Fueled with anger, fear and sadness, Libido, cover my body, only motion matters.